Anxiety

I have never been officially diagnosed with having anxiety, but I do not need the diagnosis to know I have it. Looking back on my life, it is something I have always had and just didn’t realize it until it became an issue. Kind of like my OCD and I think that can lead to anxiety issues in some cases.

When Kloey was about 2 1/2, I guess when the “baby itch” is supposed to happen…but, not for me! I woke up one night out of nowhere, heart racing, and sweating. I felt off but didn’t know what was happening. I was shaking and got into the shower, that helped a little and after a while, I was able to fall back asleep. The next day was in a fog, not only did I feel tired from not getting enough rest, but I did not feel like myself. I was trying to make sense of what happened and I remembered that I had drunk a cup of Coke the day before and because that was something I rarely did, I thought maybe it had some kind of caffeine impact on my body?

As the next couple of days went by, I was having these episodes quite frequently and some times more than once a day. They were happening at work and I would have to go lay down for a while. In the middle of the night was more common and every time I was so scared and it felt like I was dying. For weeks I had to fall asleep with the t.v. on (not something I can do on a regular). I needed the distraction from my own thoughts, and that’s one of the reasons we meditate while falling asleep now.

Still not sure what was going on I made an appointment with a Cardiologist. I was born premature and had a heart murmur that eventually healed itself, but this was a thought in the back of mind and my mother’s. I had an EKG, Holter monitor, and ultrasound done and everything was fine with my heart, thankfully! The only conclusion I could come up with is I was having panic attacks.

I don’t like to take any medications, not even Tylenol or Ibuprofen was anything I took normally. One day I was ready to try anything and I tried one Lexapro…nope never again. I was paranoid and more scared of the side effects than the panic attacks. I was starting to feel like the attacks were going to be something that happened to me every day.

Not knowing what else to do, I saw an alternative physician (different from Todd’s current doctor). She asked me a few questions and looked at my tongue, then gave me a Chinese herbal remedy and said it was like “Herbal Prozac”. I figured it was worth a try and after all, it is made up of just herbs, my concoction is “Jia Wei Xiao Yao Wan”. There are different variations of this mixture that are formulated for different characteristics that each person has. She sold them in her office, but I have been able to find them on Amazon for cheaper. The brand below is the one I use most but have had to resort to other brands and never had any issues.

That was almost 10 years ago and I still take them. Although, I do not take as many as directed on the package (8 pills 3x a day) I still take them daily. There have been a few times where I thought I would be ok going off of them and I could tell a difference in my mood so, I choose to keep them in my system. I have been able to help my body manage my anxiety thanks to the help from these supplements, essential oils and meditation. In working on this issue it began to ease my OCD as well.

The first docu-series I mentioned before on herbalism that I watched back in September mentioned my herbs specifically and I was so excited because before this I had never heard it talked about anywhere else. It was used in the hormone episode, to take more during the ovulation cycle up until your menstrual cycle starts. Considering one of my recent natural healings was to go off of my birth control, this advice has helped keep my cycle and moods regular.

There are many people in this world that deal with anxiety on a daily basis (still me). I want to encourage them to be open about it and find someone that understands what you are going through and communicate with them. Just another instance where you think no one understands what you are going through. I think that some experiences you have to feel to truly sympathize with someone. I know that my husband’s cancer diagnosis could have taken a major toll on me and my anxiety. I think it would have been easier to let all my fears get to me, but I am grateful that I have learned to deal with it because I need to be strong for my family.

Personally, my anxiety is more likely to make an impact on my body a few days after an “incident”, but for the times of onset panic, I reach for calming essential oils and Rescue Remedy. It comes in different varieties including products for kids and pets, this has worked some wonders!