Gratitude Through Grief

I often find myself standing on the edge of overwhelming gratitude, yet there’s a quiet shadow that lingers… guilt. Guilt from having so much to be thankful for while others around me are drowning in grief, stuck in cycles they can’t seem to escape. I’m not alone in this feeling, but sometimes it feels isolating, like my heart is torn between appreciation and sorrow.

This feeling became all too real during Todd’s battles with cancer. We’ve faced so many unknowns, traveled the world somehow soul searching for answers, and embraced healing in ways we never imagined. There were days when it felt like we were clinging to life by a thread. And still, through some miracle, Todd’s body began to heal once again, while others we’ve met along the way weren’t as fortunate. Families we connected with, people who had stories like ours… we watched as their battles ended differently. It hurts. It’s an ache I can’t shake, knowing that our story—though filled with struggle—hasn’t ended in tragedy, while theirs did.

It’s not just cancer either. The weight of guilt creeps in when I think of the devastation from hurricanes, the homes lost, the lives uprooted, while we continue to have our own sense of freedom and safety. While we’ve been blessed with the choice to live our lives on our terms—tiny home living, traveling the country, unschooling our daughter—others are still trapped in a rat race they didn’t ask for, bound by systems and expectations they feel powerless to change.

How do you carry the weight of abundance, of having and wanting “more,” when others are left with so much less?

Sometimes it feels impossible to reconcile, and yet, through it all, I am reminded that gratitude doesn’t diminish others’ pain. It’s about honoring what life has given us, even in the face of loss. Todd’s battles haven’t been easy and every step of his healing journey was met with fear, doubt, and sacrifice. There were moments when we weren’t sure we’d ever have the chance to breathe easy again, but we kept going. And now, I see that the gratitude I carry isn’t a dismissal of other people’s pain—it’s a proof to what we’ve survived.

Life is fragile. We’ve learned that the hard way, time and time again. We’ve lost, we’ve broken down, we’ve questioned everything. But we’ve also found joy in the simplest moments—sitting in the sunshine, embracing anywhere we’ve called home, waking up every day knowing we get to live life by choice, not by chance. The freedom we’ve built is more than just a lifestyle—it’s about embracing the possibilities and living in alignment with what truly matters. Not just for us, but for anyone willing to step outside the lines drawn by society.

Now that we’re in the last quarter of the year, there’s no better time to reflect on all we’ve been through and prepare for what’s ahead. Gratitude can be our fuel to finish strong and create momentum going into the new year. What better way to honor those we’ve lost and the challenges we’ve overcome than by living fully and setting ourselves up for the year to come? This is our time to step into a new chapter— even if I cannot see it clearly, one that honors our past, but boldly claims our future.

If you’re reading this and feeling that same heaviness of guilt, I want to tell you something I had to learn for myself: you can hold space for both gratitude and grief. Yes, hard but possible. You can honor your abundance without diminishing the losses of others. We are all on different paths, and sometimes our journey is to inspire those who feel trapped. Sometimes our story of survival becomes the light others need to find their way through the dark.

So today, I choose to feel the depth of my gratitude without guilt. I choose to honor every loss by living fully and freely, in alignment with what truly matters. Life is fleeting, and if there’s one thing Todd’s journey has taught me, it’s that we are never promised tomorrow. But while we’re here, we owe it to ourselves—and to those who no longer have the chance—to live boldly, with gratitude in our hearts and freedom in our souls.

As we enter the last quarter of the year, how are you preparing for what’s to come? If you’ve ever found yourself wrestling with guilt while experiencing gratitude, I encourage you to share your story. Let’s start a conversation about how we can hold space for both emotions and lift each other up through the highs and lows of life. Drop your thoughts below or send me a message if this resonates with you.