Our love story

In a brief summary…20 years in the making

Todd and I are high school sweethearts however, I liked him back in middle school. I remember the first time we meet (he does not). I was in seventh grade, he was in 8th and we were outside of the gym. But I was way too shy too have ever said anything then. It wasn’t until ninth grade at the first real teenage birthday party I went to that we had a little flirting going on, I knew there were some feelings there, but still didn’t say too much. Close to a month later we made plans for him to pick up a group of us at the football game on a Friday night. I was so excited and could hardly wait to see him again! The night went great, we finally had our first kiss and I was ecstatic. I waited, a few days went by and it drove me nuts, we didn’t have cell phones or texting then, but I finally got the courage on Wednesday, September 29, 1999, to be exact, to call and ask if we were ya know…boyfriend and girlfriend? He said YES, I hope some of you can recall how I must have felt at that moment. That the boy I have liked for so long, really liked me back.

Todd and I started sneaking around “dating”, but I fell in love real quick and the secret didn’t last too long. Given that I was only 14 and Todd had just turned 17 my dad was absolutely not ok with it, but thankfully my mom understood more. My parents had me when they were 17 and 19, so I did get their concern (now more than ever can see things from their point of view). But back then that did not matter to me. Being a teenager in love was a wonderful thing and honestly not much else did matter. Our relationship was magical even, we often discussed our future being together. I thought we would be together forever. I don’t know if it’s still a thing but we had an array of “our songs” from the greatest hits of John Michael Montgomery to Brian Mcknight and a whole lot of in-between, man those were the days! I remember just sitting in his blue Chrysler LeBaron (or the Honda, or his mom’s van or the mustang) just talking and listening to music. I remember when he got a pager and I would call from the mall payphone in hopes that he could meet me up there. I remember talking on the phone for hours, sometimes until one of us fell asleep (usually him).

With that young love came a lot of heartbreak, after about a year and a half/two years we broke up. We had fallen apart and were not as committed to each other. Looking back as much as I hated our time apart, I think we both needed that time to develop individually and realize we really truly wanted to be with one another. About ten months later we got back together and the sneaking around again. Knowing for sure my parents would not allow me to see him. This time around we were even more in love and knew our dreams of living together, getting married and having a family would come true. We knew we were meant for each other. I loved Mariah Carey and the song butterfly became my reality, I even walked down the aisle to it. And even today listening to any music from the 90’s to early 2000’s can put me in a great mood, it takes me back to a happy carefree place in my life.

I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, especially as a teenager! Four days before my eighteenth birthday, while I was technically still grounded, I moved out while my parents were both at work. They were rightfully upset and we didn’t talk much until my graduation. I know that must have hurt them and hope they know that it hurt me too. At that time I had not told them that Todd and I were back together and wanted to spare us all from the argument and disappointment I’m sure they had in me. I slacked off a lot in my later high school days especially once I moved out and had to work my ass off to graduate.

It seemed like forever to me but we finally got engaged in February 2005. One morning we were sitting on the front porch of our condo when Todd asked me if I wanted to go look at rings, lol that was it. I guess since we had known we were going to get married at some point, he thought that just going to pick put a ring was the next step to take. Although it was not a grand gesture, I will always remember that moment. We had a small wedding on May 13th, 2006 and did everything ourselves, that was the only regret, talk about exhausting! I’m not big on fancy so having an extravagant wedding was not in the picture anyway, but taking on the cooking was more than we expected. Honestly, nothing else even mattered other than the fact that we were finally husband and wife!

We wanted to have a child right away so I went off birth control a month before we got married. Six months later we found out we were having our baby girl, we were so excited to be parents. I know it takes some parents longer than that to conceive, but six months was long enough! It must have taken that long to make her just right. Pregnancy was basically good besides my blood pressure spiking in the last month. Kloey Nicole was born on Monday the day after Father’s Day June 18th, 2007. I felt complete with her in my life. Immediately, life felt like it had tons of responsibility because it did. It was hard, I was only home for four weeks before I went back to work and then after another four weeks I had to quit unexpectantly, it was too early to send our newborn to daycare and that was not something we had planned on. Even though it was a bit of a financial struggle, I am so thankful I had the opportunity to stay with her that first year. I sure do miss those younger years with her, now that she is becoming a teenager.

For our tenth wedding anniversary, I really wanted to travel somewhere. We had spent our honeymoon in Orlando and while we had a good time there, I had the urge for more adventure. We booked a four-night stay on the Virgin Island of St. Croix filled with distillery tours, a snorkel excursion on a sailboat and most important alone time away. For me, the second night was horrific, I woke up from the worst panic attack I have ever had and immediately wanted to go home right then and there. Thankfully, I made it through because the next morning was when we had our snorkeling trip scheduled. I am so happy that we were able to enjoy that highlight of our trip. We sailed over to Buck Island which is a US national monument surrounded by coral reefs and crystal clear waters, a beautiful sight to see.

It’s been over 3 years since that trip, it helped us realize that we need to have alone time for ourselves. I think couples lose themselves in their children at times, I know we did and still do. Or even work for that matter, those of you that don’t have kids. Some didn’t understand that I wanted to work with my husband, but I love spending time with him. It is so important to keep the connection going between you and your partner. After all, it all started with the two of us and we have to remember that more often. Remember why you fell in love and what is keeping you in this relationship.

We have faced some challenges in our life, like most. Finding balance in our relationship, income, stress and countless arguments. Even so-called friends trying to come between us, but we managed to work through all of these issues. We have grown up together and our bond has made dealing with a cancer diagnosis at a young age more manageable. I’m not saying easy, because it has been the hardest thing to be thrown our way. No one ever plans to get cancer, right?! We have to be strong for ourselves, for one another and for Kloey. We never thought she would have to deal with her father having cancer at least while she was still a kid. We have to believe in hope that everything will work out the way it is supposed to and never give up! I love that we are cheesy,I love that we find a way to celebrate our dating anniversary each year, I love that the little things matter, I love that we say “I love you” about 50 times a day, I love it all. I could not imagine my life without him. I believe that Todd is my soul mate, the love of my life, always and forevers, and no matter what!